Monthly Archives: June 2011

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Race the Clock to Overcome Procrastination with ADHD / ADD

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If you find yourself procrastinating about household chores and responsibilities, make a game of things and play race the clock.  You can play with family members, roommates or even by yourself. If you have ADD or ADHD, this can be especially helpful in getting a bit of adrenaline moving in your system.

I don’t know about you, but I personally hate doing the dishes. Left to my own devices, dishes would probably pile up for weeks.  Of course, I can’t let this happen.  When it is time to do the dishes, I usually need to set a timer for 10 minutes and see how much I can get done in order to motivate myself to get started on doing the dishes. I am always surprised by how little time it can take when I really have fun with this strategy.

If you have kids, it can be tremendously helpful in getting them moving as well. I think it is the adrenaline that helps here.  Setting the timer to get the family room clean can be really motivating for them.  It is fun and they know it will end soon!

You could even implement this strategy at work, but be careful to keep an eye on quality.  I would hate to hear that a report was botched due to “Race the Clock”!

How can you implement “Race the Clock” at your house?

 

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4 Keys to Getting More Done with ADHD

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Procrastination gets in the way of getting things done when you have ADHD.  (Even if you don’t have it, procrastination can be a big challenge!)  If you implement these 4 keys in your workday, you will be well on your way to getting more done.

Plan

This can be a difficult one if you have ADHD.  Planning can feel against your nature, but I still encourage you to give it a try.  When you plan every day, you know what you need to do and increase your chances of getting it done.  Sometimes procrastination looks like forgetting to do something.  If you write it down and plan to do it, you are more likely to actually accomplish what you need to accomplish.  If you can’t find a planner you like to use, check out my guide to choosing the right planner.

Smaller Tasks

Break big projects into smaller chunks to help each step of the project seem more manageable. For example, if you have to develop a new process at work, it can be pretty easy to procrastinate because it is literally a HUGE process and assignment. If you can identify smaller chunks and try to focus on one chunk at a time, it can be easier to get started.

First Thing

Work on your hardest project or task first thing in the morning. I had a client who was in the middle of a job search when we were working together. She procrastinated about making any type of phone call because she just does not enjoy making phone calls. To counteract her tendency to procrastinate, she made a commitment to herself that she would make one difficult phone call every morning by 9:30am. Once she made that phone call in the morning, she felt more confident that she could tackle all of her challenges that day!

10 Minutes

If you are having trouble getting started on a project, start with just 10 minutes. Set a timer and just get started on the project. If you work on it for 10 minutes, chances are that it will be easier to get started. When the timer goes off, make a conscious decision – STOP because you are just working on it for 10 minutes or KEEP GOING because it really isn’t so bad after all!

What do you think about these tips?  Will they work for you?

 

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Top 10 Ways to Lead and Parent by Example

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Leadership and parenting are related.

Good leaders must lead by example. Likewise, parents must do the same.  These tips will help you apply leadership skills to parenting, especially if you or your child have ADHD.  Through their actions, which are aligned with what they say, a leader becomes a person others want to follow. When leaders or parents say one thing but do another, they erode trust, a critical element of productive leadership and parenting. Here are 10 of the dozens of ways to lead by example.

1. Take responsibility. Blame costs you your credibility, keeps team and/or family members on the defensive and ultimately sabotages real growth.

2. Be truthful. Inaccurate representation affects everyone. Show that honesty really IS the best policy.

3. Be courageous. Walk through fire (a crisis) first. Take calculated risks that demonstrate commitment to a larger purpose.

4. Acknowledge failure. It makes it OK for your team or your children to do the same and defines failure as part of the process of becoming extraordinary.

5. Be persistent. Try, try again. Go over, under or around any hurdles to show that obstacles don’t define your company or family.

6. Create solutions. Don’t dwell on problems; instead be the first to offer solutions and then ask your team for more.

7. Listen. Ask questions. Seek to understand. You’ll receive valuable insights and set a tone that encourages healthy dialogue.

8. Delegate liberally. Encourage an atmosphere in which people can focus on their core strengths.

9. Take care of yourself. Exercise, don’t overwork, take a break. A balanced team, mentally and physically, is a successful team. Model it, encourage it, support it!

10. Roll up your sleeves. Like Alexander the Great leading his men into battle, you’ll inspire greatness in your company and family.

What do you think?  Are leadership and parenting similar?  How would you describe it?

Author’s content used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

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How to Be Assertive Without Alienating Your Partner

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I don’t have to tell you that relationships can be tough when one of the partners has ADHD / ADD.  Assertive communication can help both partners.

Asking for what you want—and setting boundaries around what you don’t want—is a key life skill. But sometimes in our enthusiasm to practice this skill, we over-do our own assertiveness and end up with a partner who shuts down, gets angry or feels resentful. Here are four tips for developing your assertiveness in a way that will actually strengthen, deepen and enrich your relationship—thus avoiding the “alienation trap”:

Get Clear.

Being assertive starts with knowing what you are—and aren’t—willing to be, do, or have. For many of us, coming to this knowledge is a real task unto itself. Here, it may be useful to ask: “In an ideal world, what would I like to happen?” Focusing on an ideal outcome opens our minds, prevents us from falling into passivity or “victim-thinking,” and helps us get really clear on what we want and don’t want.

Set Boundaries.

Once you know what outcome you need (or want), share it with your partner. Pay attention to the way stating your boundary feels in your body. With practice, you can actually sense when you’re hitting the “sweet spot.” It can feel really pleasurable, even exhilarating, to express your needs or desires out loud. Phrases like “such and such doesn’t work for me” are simple ways of being assertive while maintaining connection with your partner.

Make a Regular Habit

of Stating Your Needs and Desires.

You can build your assertiveness the same way you build any muscle: exercise. Practice speaking up about your needs, big or small, on a daily basis.  When you speak up about things that are less controversial—such as where to go to dinner, requesting help unloading the dishwasher or what TV program to watch—both you and your partner get used to your assertiveness. It becomes easier for you to practice and for your partner to hear. Also, when bigger issues come along, you and your partner will have a healthy process in place for dealing with differences in needs, and you’ll have greater confidence in the resilience of your partnership.

Give as Much as You Get.

Assertiveness is a two-way street. If you want your boundaries to be respected, you must return the courtesy to your partner. If she doesn’t want you to use the bathroom when she’s in the shower, don’t. If he asks you to give him a half an hour after work before you talk and connect, respect that. When it comes to following through on a partner’s reasonable request, actions really do speak louder than words.

If your partner isn’t respecting your boundaries even though you’ve set them clearly, it may be time for professional help for you and/or your relationship.
What do you think?  Share your thoughts here in our comments section.

Author’s content used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

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Accessing the Power of Gratitude

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Why gratitude?

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. I know this can be especially true for my clients with ADHD.  And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for: colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

  • Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.
  • Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.
  • Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.
  • Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.
  • When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.
  • Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

What do you think?  How can you practice more gratitude?

Author’s content used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

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