If we ask insightful questions of our children, parents, spouses, friends, employees, co-workers and bosses (to name a few) we can discover new answers and new ways of communicating. Asking insightful questions is something I learned during my coach training and apply during coaching sessions. At a recent workshop, I was asked to provide some open ended questions that parents can ask their children when helping their children to overcome their ADHD challenges. The request started me thinking that everyone can use insightful, open ended questions to improve communication.
As an example, if your child brings home grades that are not where you expected them to be, which one of the following questions would have a more insightful response:
- Why did you get this grade?
- What can you do differently next grading period?
The first question focuses on the past, while the second question focuses on the future. When you help your child (or anyone you are communicating with) focus on the future, you are helping them to discover how they can apply what is already inside of them to their challenges.
Now, you might not have a child so let’s take a look at how this can help you with communicating with friends. For another simple example, consider a situation where your friend and you are trying to decide what to do tomorrow. Which of the questions below would help you come up with more options?
- Do you want to go to the movies?
- What are some things we have never done?
If you ask about things that you have never done before you will generate a lot more options than if you just focus on movies.
Below I have listed a few more questions to get you started. Pick one question that you can ask someone today and see if it helps you start a powerful conversation.
- What do you want to accomplish?
- What do you love to do?
- What can you do differently?
- What goals do you have for next year?
- What makes you the most proud?
- What are your challenges?
- When will you know that you achieved your goal?
- What is getting in your way of reaching your goal?
- What is working well at school? with your friends? here at home?
- If you take this step, what will you do next?
- How can I help you?
- How can I get out of your way?
When asking these types of questions, be careful to actively listen to the answer – don’t assume that you know the answer ahead of time. Another tip that has been shared with me is to ask more “What” questions. They can make the answerer feel less intimidated than “Why” questions. Let me know how it goes when you try this strategy of asking insightful, open ended questions! What do you like about it? What feels uncomfortable?
January 13, 2010
7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. $25
Do you want to help your child or teenager
- overcome their attention-related challenges,
- develop academic and social solutions, and
- establish time-saving routines?
This interactive class will explore the ways in which you can coach your child or teenager to prevail over their challenges related to attention deficit disorders. You will learn strategies to help your child right away and develop an action plan to address one of your specific goals. Even if your child is not diagnosed with ADHD, you will learn practical and valuable information.
Registration is be through The Community House. Click here to register.
Join Cheryl Heppard, of Michigan Health Coach, and I on Thursday, December 10th at 8 p.m. ET for a free teleseminar as as Cheryl interviews me.
This call is a must for you IF:
- You’re feeling stressed about the upcoming holiday
- You would like to learn more about the process of getting your life and business more organized
- You’re on the look-out for ideas for a well planned New Year
- You could use some inspiration and motivation to follow through on any tasks and projects that might presently be on the back burner (or even the front burner!)
Join us as we share:
- How to create more hours in the day for what you need to accomplish
- How to meet deadlines by eliminating disorganization
- The importance in choosing the right planner for 2010
Laura and Cheryl will explore these topics as a part of their engaging workshop. Participants will learn strategies and develop solutions to overcome these and other time management challenges.
Register now and share with your colleagues, there is limited space on the landline.
Cheryl is also lining up some great free calls in the coming weeks, so stay tuned for teleseminars on other topics.
Join Lisa De Rubeis Allen of Wellness First and Laura for a FREE hour of relaxation at Be Well (750 S. Old Woodward, Birmingham, Michigan).
Flyer: Holiday Stress Management – Dec 5, 2009
Lisa will teach you how acupressure and wellness techniques can help relieve stress during the holidays and create a balance in your life. Laura will help you to reduce your stress in 2010 by choosing the right planner for YOU.
Learn how to relieve stress with…
- Ear acupressure
- Wellness techniques
- Skin rejuvenation
- Strategies for choosing the right planner
- Delicious Rainforest Treasure Tea
- Native American Smudging
Join us for help in managing the holidays and starting your new year right!
Register today! Call 248-792-6570 or send us a note on our Contact Us page.
As an Attention and ADHD Coach I am often asked, “What is the difference between ADHD and ADD?”. And then to add to the confusion, what about AD/HD?
In short, there is not a difference because all of the acronyms refer to the diagnosis of Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. For more details regarding why different acronyms are used, read on and check out the links below.
- The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-IV, Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR) is defines Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder using a list of criteria. For a full criteria list, you can go to this link on the CDC’s website: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html.
- Since the official name is Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, the official acronym is AD/HD.
- ADHD is used by many people (including myself) because AD/HD can be cumbersome to read and type.
- The term ADD is an older term that was used before hyperactivity was included into the name. It is still used informally today to describe AD/HD when someone doesn’t have hyperactivity.
For more information, I would encourage you to check out www.Help4ADHD.org and, more specifically, http://www.help4adhd.org/en/about/what.
What acronym do you usually use? What questions do you have about the acronyms?